Back when I was a kid, when you had to walk three miles in the snow in bare feet to find the nearest haunted house, monsters were scary. Monsters didn’t bother with fast cars and teenage girls…unless they intended to eat them, turn them, or possess them. They were never described as hot, no girls were lining up for mad hot make-outs in the back of Freddy’s Beemer. They didn’t sparkle, or go to high school, or consider sex after matrimony.
And I’m not even dogging on Twilight here, I mean, pretty much all the monsters these days come to us steamed, pressed, and neutered.
I yearn to be scared by monsters again. I want Dracula stalking the beautiful Miss Lucy, draining her slowly of her blood so that she is more haunted than alive. I want psychological warfare on the menfolk. I want Renfield baiting and noming on flies and spiders.
There’s just such a suspicious lack of scary anymore. What was once the domain of Horror has now become that of Paranormal Romance, which, whatever, is fine. But I’m ready for the mists upon my skin and Jack the Ripper doing ghastly things to the denizens of the underbelly of London. I want Frankenstein building new monsters and a newfound, special terror of cemeteries and old churches to keep me up late into the night. I want mad scientists knocking back psychosis cocktails. I want to carry salt when I pass the empty house at the end of the block and I’d love to to be kept awake by knock-knock-knocking in the walls.
I haven’t read something properly scary in a long time.
And horror, though difficult to master, is rich with atmosphere and untouched stories. I’m concerned with how fiercely YA (and much of adult) has been gripping the sexy side of werethings and undead spirits. Even zombies are getting dolled up for prom and I can’t think of a more sacrilegious thing. Hunky zombies? Really? What’s happened to our obsession with being scared? Where once October was filled with haunted houses and stupid ideas like let’s sneak into the abandoned house down the street and have a seance and play with Ouija boards* now it’s all like “Do you like me check yes or no – yours always The Invisible Man.”
We’ve turned Dracula into our high school crush and tamed the Hounds of Baskervilles like Pokemon. When the raven comes rap-rap-rapping at our chamber door, he turns out to be a fallen angel come to watch us sleep. Who said stalking wasn’t sexy?!?
There is opportunity here to dig into the psychological trauma of American hauntings and really scare the pants off one another. Monsters need to return to their roots. They need to take hold of their chutzpah in both hands. They deserve to be badass again.
It’s been a while since I’ve been so much as creeped out, guys, and I swear on a first edition Twain that the day the protagonist locks lips with Cthulhu, I’m out of here.
So, it’s time to bring the scary back. And until then, we can keep each other entertained with what slim pickings are out there. Next week I’m going to share two creeptastic books with you and some movies worth turning the nightlight on for on Thursday.
But now it’s your turn. In the comments, recommend some books that kept you up all night, afraid the walls would start bleeding and the crows would come the moment you shut your eyes. Share your scariest.
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Today’s Monstrologists are Hunting…
Annalise Green talks Mermaids
*This isn’t as good an idea as one might think.
Sommer
My name is Sommer and I'm a writer from the Midwest. I am currently working on a YA novel about superheroes, reading as much as I can, blogging, and saving the world.
heeheehee! sommer!
i’ll own up to liking me some paranormal romance. but you are sooo right, there should be horrifying monsters as well.
as far as writing goes, we dig into each of our characters and try to figure out what motivates them, and sometimes it allows us to really empathize with our monsters, to understand them and want them to have some good in the end… i don’t know.
you see, what i really love is horror mixed with beauty and a whole lot of human emotion. scary monsters are great. but there needs to be a reason why they are scary.
personally, i think the truest, scariest monster is man.
it all comes down to reasoning.
i don’t know. my brain’s somewhere else right now.
anyway, the first book to keep me up at night be being scared was THIS PRESENT DARKNESS by frank peretti- now demons- those are some scary buggers.
I’m definitely a Poe fan – The Pit and the Pendulum still scares the crap out of me. And The Shining.
But the Monsterfest was really cool – thanks for letting me be a part of it. I forgot to follow your blog until this morning, but I definitely can’t wait to hear more from you. And don’t forget, watch out for witches, bunyips, werewolves, and all those other creepy monsters out there!
- http://pensuasion.blogspot.com/
I used to read some legit scary stuff as a kid. From 4-7th grade, I was all about some Poe, Scary Stories to Tell at Midnight, UFO’s, YOU NAME IT. Then, fast forward to college years, I watched Saw II and something inside me snapped. I just can’t do it anymore. I have turned into a giant sissypants.
You’re right! I haven’t read anything properly scary for quite some time either, and unfortunately I can’t think of anything off the top of my head.
Hmmm, I try not to give “scariest” recommendations. People find so many different things scary. I love Stephen King and Dean Koontz for different reasons. I adore Douglas Clegg. Then there’s the classics: M.R. James, Algernon Blackwood, Edgar Allan Poe…all scary in their own right. Man, I love horror.
I blame Disney. They started neutering dragons and making them talk and dance and sing. All that made people slowly over time start to question why monsters were monsters and not simply “misunderstood”.
Then along came Addams Family and the Meunsters and before you knew it…being scary suddenly was really cool and everyone wanted to do it.
You mean Miss Lucy stalking Dracula is not as cool?
I can’t think of a book that was that scary. Maybe Salem’s Lot.
“It,” by Stephen King probably scared me the most. Probably because it was the first horror novel I read. I couldn’t stand the sight of balloons for two weeks after reading that book.
Before that, the Shelob’s Lair scene in LOTR made for slippery palms.
I haven’t been properly scared in a while. I think it’s because I’ve had nightmares my entire life and those were enough to scare me and bring me up to not being scared anymore. What could anyone come up with that was more frightening than what I saw in my dreams? They couldn’t. I had people hanging from their eyeballs and toddlers falling to the floor with their brains splashed open.
Ack, sorry. That’s really graphic of me. O_O
But it was every night. All the time from when I was a kid and on and even worse sometimes. And all my parents would say is, “It’s a damn dream, go back to bed.”
Where the shadows were…
So honestly. I think I would have /preferred/ a vampire be in there. It would have ended things…
I’m one of those people who likes my monsters scary and hot (though not in the same book).
I think for scary I’m still partial to Stephen King’s Salem’s Lot.
the scariest book I’ve read that I can remember is the Girl Who Loved tom Gordon by Stephen King. I’m a girl who loves wandering in the forest, so being stalked by a nameless creature frightened me to no end.
I don’t mind paranormal romance, well to an extent, but I miss scary monsters too.
“and I swear on a first edition Twain that the day the protagonist locks lips with Cthulhu, I’m out of here.”
LOL Have you seen this? I think you’ll find it funny.
http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/loadingreadyrun/3770-Imagine-If-You-Will
Great post! I used to read nothing but King and Koontz as a kid, but recently I haven’t read anything that really scared me. I’ve read Darren Shan’s first book in the Demonata series and that was pretty intense. I was surprised that it was for middle grade. I can’t say I’ve read anything scary yet. Looking forward to the list.
I’m guilty of watering down the monsters, though I am proud to say that my vampires don’t sparkle nor do they fall in love with my heroine. Oh, and my zombies are old school, there’s that at least to make me feel less guilty.
I’d love to see the return of good horror/monster books, even movies, but I’m not holding my breath.
What? Don’t we want to see the fuzzy inner child of our weremonsters?
Actually, I think part of the problem comes from the fact that even the tormented monster characters of the past have moved from figures of tragedy to figures of emo tragedy. From “I uncontrollably turn into a hideous monster at night and slay the people I love” to “I never got to date a cheerleader in high school so now that I have immortal life and immortal good looks I’m going to back to high school and date the prettiest cheerleader — but what if she doesn’t like me and my immortal hotness? OMG what should I do?”
I think we’ve sort of wussified tragedy and monsters at the same time.
It just breaks my heart!
Someone needs to teach these monsters a lesson in tragedy. *cracks knuckles*